Anxious people are more likely to assume that everyone will leave. So much so that it's possible that they could end a relationship on occasion. The truth is that they struggle with something they cannot control, and they feel insecure about their relationships. They are aware that it is challenging, but they do not wish to burden you with their irrational worries and thoughts. As a result, they push you away before you can leave on your own.
Keep in mind that they are worth fighting for.
Sometimes it might be hard. They might engage in foolish arguments based on imagined scenarios. However, they are worth fighting for above all else. Usually, the toughest people are. And it will repay you tenfold if you can fight with them through this.
It is impossible to use the expression "It's okay" enough.
There are two words. Two words that stop them from thinking about anything. And, to be honest, you can never say enough of it.
Sometimes all you need to do is listen.
These scenarios will be simulated in their minds. They'll move from one place to another, and sometimes you won't even know how they got there. Allowing them to wander off on their own is the best course of action. The act of listening will be helpful, even if there is neither a solution nor a fear they are concerned about in the future.
Avoid saying to them, "You're overreacting."
It might appear irrational to you. However, whatever they reveal to you is actually what keeps them awake at night to them. Therefore, try to make the most of it.
They probably won't fall asleep at all.
You will be woken up by them at 3 a.m. as they lie there completely awake, regardless of how long it takes for them to fall asleep or stay asleep. If you just hold them close, the familiarity of your presence may be enough to induce sleep.
Keep in mind that they do not lack faith in you. They are afraid.
When you say it's an ex, they immediately think of cheating. You tell them it's a friend, but they think it's someone trying to break up you two. They don't distrust you or your relationship; rather, they distrust themselves because they constantly imagine the worst-case scenario in their heads.
It helps more than you realize to respond to texts promptly.
You probably noticed that they respond in an embarrassingly quick manner; they are aware that not everyone is like them, but it is helpful when others understand. When you say, "I can't talk now, so I'll text you later," it helps. Anxious people die in silence. It brings up issues in their minds that don't exist. It comes to an end with unneeded apologies. Additionally, it adds another layer of stress to their lives that they wish they could control.
If they send you two texts, don't get mad.
Four texts could prompt you to turn on your phone. It's not that they're trying to be annoying, if you can remember. They care. They are aware that showing too much concern makes them appear bad.
They might not want to go out on occasion.
They might have to cancel at the last minute or freeze during a night out, and they might not be able to do it. Don't feel like you have to go with them if they tell you they have to leave. Just know that they tried, but they couldn't handle it for whatever reason. There are many things that can cause anxiety in people, but for many, going to a party with someone they don't know will either result in them being quiet and awkward or you will have to take them out because they chose vodka to calm themselves.
Even if you don't understand, accept their apologies.
They are so observant, whether it's a bad night out, a triple text, or saying or doing the wrong thing. Before you even realize you might be upset, they will apologize for picking up on even the tiniest shift in you.
Be aware of when you are unable to assist.
They will never admit that they are unable to handle anything, preferring ten meltdowns in which they overeat. Every time, they'll say yes. Nobody will be turned away by them. And in those instances when it appears as though they will break, simply hold them. If you can, assist them, but be aware that they are likely to refuse assistance. They are accustomed to working things out on their own.
They will love you so fiercely once they gain your trust.
While incomplete lists, messed-up plans, unanswered texts, and other distractions can make someone feel overwhelmed with anxiety, love is likely their strongest skill. Their capacity to demonstrate their love and appreciation for you is their greatest strength. They may need some time to trust you, but once they do, their love for you will fill you in ways you didn't know you needed or even had.