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11
S3x & Romance Board / The 10 Things No One Tells You About Divorce
« Last post by Mr. Babatunde on April 20, 2021, 12:55:35 AM »


1. Friends will flee.
Married friends, acquaintances, and couple-friends all run for the hills when they hear about your divorce. It’s contagious, you know. The minute one seemingly happy couple acknowledges their own deep, dark misery and actually decides to do something about it, everyone else starts to question their own marriages. “Can that happen to us?” Or more inquisitively, “Should that happen to us?” Either way, the other “wife” friends you used to occasionally hang with will suddenly become extremely busy. You will be kicked off the holiday “Happy Whatever” chat thread. (A blessing or a curse? You decide.) You may even awkwardly (mistakenly) by default be invited to a Baptism or birthday party or group dinner of your ex-partner’s friends. Gracefully and politely decline by saying you will be out of town that weekend. They don’t actually want you to go. The error just happened. There is probably a separate group chat saying something along the lines of “OMG I think I accidentally invited (insert your name) to our dinner. So awkward! What do I do?” And while this exodus of former associates can be hurtful and confusing, it is entirely their issue. Not everyone is able to look objectively at another couple without comparing their situation to one’s own. People are not ready to stare in the mirror and ask themselves tough questions. It’s perfectly okay. Let them go. People in your life are processing too.

2. You’ll be flying solo at weddings.
If you are not in a new relationship right away (and please God, for that person’s sake, don’t be in a new relationship right away), chances are you may be invited solo to a wedding. As in only your name on the invitation envelope. AKA they don’t want to spend money on a plate for whichever rando you may bring along, so instead they will just eliminate the “plus one”. It is my opinion that to invite any adult without a “plus one” is in poor taste, but you can decide that one for yourself. Be prepared and forewarned—your lack of a relevant significant other will render you highly favorable for a solo invite. You might feel your rank has slipped a few notches. The blow to your ego can be a shock. Your status has changed. You’re in the aftermath of a divorce. Bet no one told you this!


If, however, you are invited with a date and have to scramble to find a suitable person, may I recommend reaching out to your most handsome gay BFF and begging that he do you a solid?

3. Sleeping arrangements will change.
Speaking of getting the shaft, get used to the couch while you’re at it! Take family vacations and weekend group getaways for example. Being part of a couple means you always have priority and sometimes even your choice of bedroom. This “luxury” is not guaranteed after you enter Splitsville. As a newly single person, be prepared for your property value to decrease. Priority status on private bedrooms is reserved for married couples and families first. As for us new divorcées, you’ll sleep on the twin bed, porch futon, couch, share a room with your teenage nephew, share a bed with your mom, wherever. Guess if you wanted your own room, you should have stayed married, huh? (That was a joke.)


4. There is a great big Scarlet “D” on your chest.
You can’t see it, but there is. It’s there. Get used to it. Eventually, you will wear it with pride. For now, just know that it’s there and it informs how people treat you and relate to you. When someone you’ve known when you were a married person sees you now, there is a new look in their eyes. Is it sympathy? Concern? Are they trying to feel into your mental state? If you’re feeling the vibe that something in this exchange—one that you’ve likely had a thousand times—is somehow different since they found out about your divorce, it’s because something is different. It’s the invisible “D for Divorced” on your chest that throws people off their game when they’re trying to assess the situation and nosily read between the lines. This shift is subtle, imperceptible to most others, but when you experience it, you’ll know. (Was my dry cleaner acting strange this morning? Ah, it’s my Scarlet D!) Also know that it is perfectly okay to tell that person to fuck off in your mind or out loud. Either way, I’m with you.

5. You’re seen as a threat.
Don’t hurt me for this. Women will think you want their husbands. I know, I know, I’m stereotyping. I’m trapping women further inside the proverbial box we are trying to break out of by assuming we are pitting ourselves against one another. And as the strong female advocate I am, I wish I could say I was lying. The fact is, some women are threatened by strong, successful, happily single women. And why shouldn’t they be? Divorced women who own their own lives and create their own paths to happiness are forces to be reckoned with. Let’s be honest, getting a divorce is one of the most soul-crushing, earth-shaking experiences we can go through as emotional beings. To emerge on the other side with your grace, dignity, and mental health intact is superhero-level shit and deserves all the admiration. Hell, we deserve a parade. We don’t get one. But we do get heightened awareness from other women when you’re having a perfectly platonic conversation with a married man. Understand that these energies do exist and reveal a tremendous amount about the other person’s insecurities. It has nothing to do with you! You need not dim your light or hold back your fierceness for the sake of others. However, knowledge is power, and knowing that you might be seen as a “threat” will help you navigate sensitive moments with compassion and intelligence.

(But here’s what the lower-vibration-me has to say to all the married women who think we’re on the prowl for your lazy, balding husbands that don’t take out the trash: “He’s all yours, baby!!!”)

6. Your freedom comes with a high emotional price tag.
The first thing I did after signing my divorce papers was sell my house. Side note: I had secured the home we owned together and lived in for 10 years in our divorce agreement, but I knew there was no way I wanted to continue living there. I chose to move to a new area where I knew NO ONE. It was the scariest and most thrilling thing I’d ever done. Though I kept my job and my child’s school consistent, I am so happy I chose to live my private life somewhere just that—private. Taking apart the home we had built together—stripping the closets of our clothing, removing furniture to reveal the old wall color that was there when we moved in as newlyweds, seeing my daughter’s room now empty where toys and laughter used to be, finding birthday cards that fell behind the nightstands, disassembling our life together piece by piece—ripped me apart and still does even as I type this years later. Leaving that home in an effort to take charge of my freedom was the most painful thing I ever had to do. It was a physical metaphor for the deconstruction of the hopes and dreams of my younger self and the dissolution of the vows we took when we first started out on our married journey. It was now time to let that go in an effort to step into my own womanhood. That home held me. While my marriage was a roller coaster, our house was a constant in my life. Our home journeyed with us and grew us into adults over the course of 10 years. And oh, if those walls could talk…

7. You will question every day if you made the right choice.
Make no mistake about it, your answer may always be a resounding FUCK YESSSS, but you will still question. Mostly during the quiet moments, like when you find yourself decorating for Christmas alone because your kids are with your ex. Or a lonely Saturday night when former couple friends are having dinner together and posting on Facebook. Would it have been easier to have just stayed married? Trust yourself. It’s okay to look back. We all need to reflect in order to learn and move forward. Trust that wherever you are is exactly where you need to be, even if you’re in the muck. Uncoupling is hard. Staying in a toxic marriage is even harder.

8. It’s not all their fault.
Whether or not the divorce was on your terms or your decision, rest assured you played a role in the demise of your marriage. Yikes! Harsh, I know. Truth be told, I would love to play the victim and wax poetically that I was the perfect wife and did everything right in my marriage, but I’m calling bullshit on myself. In order to move on and learn my lessons, I had to get real with where I fell short in my relationship. Yes, there are a million things I did “right,” and yes, I tried over and over and over again only to get the same outcome every time. (Isn’t that the definition of insanity?) But our lack of a more successful ending wasn’t only his fault. It was mine, too. I had given up on us long before I officially gave up on us. And whether or not I ever admit that out loud to anyone other than my therapist (and you reading this), I needed to understand the truth of our story and forgive myself for my part in it. Recognize your part. Forgive yourself. You were doing the best you could with what you knew at the time.

Speaking of forgiveness…


9. You will feel guilty for being happy.
When I finally separated from my husband of nearly 10 years, he was trying desperately to rekindle our fire. I had a conversation with a good friend who asked me, “How does it feel when you think about getting back with him?” I said, “It feels like I swam to the surface and I’m finally able to breathe, and he wants to pull me back under again.” To my ex-husband’s credit, my feelings were not his fault, but they were my true feelings and I felt guilty for them. (Talk about generational trauma and conditioning!) I felt guilty for loving my new freedom. I felt guilty for embracing the new parts of myself as a woman that were emerging. I felt guilty for seeing him suffer more than me. (I should mention that I suffered so much during our actual marriage that separation and divorce was a welcome change of pace.) I felt guilty for relishing the stillness. I felt guilty for enjoying the quiet. Mind you, I wasn’t blissful or over-the-moon or settled in a new life. I was a hot mess. But I could finally breathe on my own, and that made me happy.

10. You will think you’re ready for a new relationship, but you’re not!
First thing’s first: Everyone (not just your mother) will want to see you in a new relationship. (Again, it’s about them here, not you.) Undoing old patterns and learning someone new in your first relationship will be a mindfuck. An example: My ex-husband and I both love food. We have eaten at almost all of the top Michelin star rated restaurants around Manhattan and beyond. We spared no expense for a great piece of toro. My first new beau post-divorce was kind of broke but incredibly hot. We had a few sexy dates and I was floating on cloud nine. He invited me over to his apartment for dinner, and yes, we actually did eat. I thought I was going to die when he busted out the TV tray tables so we could eat take-out sushi while watching Office Christmas Party. In this moment, I learned dating would be tough to swallow. But snobbery aside, learning to love someone and open your heart again is an obvious challenge in the war zone of post-divorce life. There is always comparison. After a few failed attempts at relationships with great men, I came to the misguided conclusion that a part of my heart had closed up and shut down. I felt broken. Marred. Tainted. I worked my ass off on yoga mats across the globe, journaling nightly, meditating, and trying to figure out why my heart refused to allow itself to be loved. Finally, I came to the conclusion that nothing was wrong with me, I just wasn’t ready. My heart was not ready, and I had to honor that. The time will come when you will be fully ready to embrace all the ups and downs, highs and lows of a new relationship. Be patient with yourself. I’ll be ready to get back on the dating roller coaster again, but for now, I have learned to respect where my two feet want to be—on solid ground, leaving their marks and making tracks that belong to me. I am not ready to mold and shape my life based on another person’s desires when I have my own desires that need space to grow. When I am ready, love will be easy. When I choose to live authentically, the universe will open its arms and envelop me. This precious time as a happily divorced woman has taught me to honor what I need, my deepest knowing, and my truest self.
12
Relationship Board / This Is How A Heart Breaks, Shatters, Falls to pieces
« Last post by Mr. Babatunde on April 20, 2021, 12:51:35 AM »


This is how a heart breaks.

It’s a collection of moments, red flags, and near-misses. Flashing lights and warning signs of the rugged and unsteady but wildly euphoric road ahead. Lights blinding you with their truth, but you shut your eyes so tight and willed them away.

This is how a heart shatters.

Premonitions and writing on the wall, heavily disguised, you didn’t see a thing. No brushing it off, excusing it away. They were incognito; you couldn’t find them even if you took a flashlight and searched every nook, every dark, hidden expanse.


This is how a heart falls to pieces.

It’s in the way they make promises to you, promises they never intended to keep. And the way they look at you like you hung the stars in the sky, but they change their mind; they prefer the moon instead.

You said forever, but it was all just a sham. I am walking around with a gaping wound in the shape of you, and you’re still out there living, breathing, feeling every moment without me. You don’t even know it, but you’re walking around living your life with pieces of me embedded in you, pieces I will never get back.

This is how a heart is destroyed.

It’s in the way you see the make and model of the truck they owned, the one they bought when you were together. You see their face in your dreams, so vivid that it tricks your mind. You wake up, and you’re still alone. How many days, months, years has it been without them?

You don’t measure love in time. You measure love in the way they stirred your spirit and made you feel alive. It’s in the way you think of life as ‘before they crashed into me’ and ‘after they abandoned me.’

A heart breaks like this: a hairline fracture here, a small bruise imprinted by their smile over there. The color of their eyes delivers another blow. The way their hand feels tangled with yours, the ringing in your ears to the tune of their voice saying, ‘I love you’ – the cracks widen, deepen, grow.

Heartbreak is a collection of damages, security deposit notwithstanding.
13


Many prospective UTME candidates register for the JAMB exam without knowing which school to attend. If you're reading this, you're probably studying for the JAMB exam in 2021, and this post will help you choose the best institution for your studies.

Choosing just any school could hurt your chances of getting in or have an impact on your studies even if you do get in.

Below are things prospective candidates should consider before picking an institutions

1. Make sure the school and your course of study is Accredited-

This is the most important part when choosing a school/university. There are some universities/schools that run courses that are yet to be accredited by NUC or other relevant authorities. So make sure you make your findings, and choose schools/universities that have been accredited by NUC.  Else,  it will just look as if you are just wasting your time and resources.

2. Catchment Area of The school:

Yeah, the catchment area is also important.  Being part of a school/university catchment can favour you during admission processes. For example,  UNILAG catchment areas are Lagos,  Osun Oyo, Ekiti and Ogun.  The cut-off marks for these catchment areas are always lesser than the merit cut off mark.  This doesn't mean that you cannot apply for admission into a university if you are not from the catchment areas.  Catchment areas only give the candidates of those states an edge during the admission process.

3.  Strike History Of The School/University:

Apart from the usual ASUU and ASUP strike, there are schools that are prone to internal strikes which can interrupt academic activities and elongate your stay in the school. So do your finding to know if the school you intend to choose is prone to internal strikes.

4. The Admission Requirements Of the School:

Schools in Nigeria have different admission requirements, so before applying for one,  make sure you meet up those requirements.  For example, in some schools JAMB cut-off is 200 while in some, it is less than 200. Make sure you are aware of how the admission process was done the previous year to avoid any form of problem.

5. Be aware of how to calculate the screening point of the University:

Most schools use O'level grading to screen candidates while some schools conduct aptitude tests as their own screening method. This means that if you have a very good O'level result, you will likely do well if your school of choice screens candidates using just JAMB scores and O'level results

Having explained all these, I hope you are now better informed to make the right choice.

Wish you the best..
14


This is to remind students that the Vice-Chancellor has accepted the extension of course and examination registration for the 2021 1 academic year on behalf of the Senate. To that end, the course and test registration will close at 11:59 p.m. on Friday, May 7th, 2021.

Also, the dates for Orientation and Matriculation Ceremonies have been changed to Friday, May 14th and Saturday, May 15th, 2021.

The deadline for registering for 2021 1 courses and exams has been extended by NOUN.
Thank you so much.

Dated and signed

Management is in control.
15


BOYS FROM COUNTY HELL is a new horror film on Shudder that features a lot of dark comedy. However, be warned: this isn't your typical horror comedy like Shaun of the Dead or even Happy Death Day.

Instead, there are several gloomy and tragic moments in this Shudder installment. There's also some comedy thrown in for good measure! Boys from Country Hell is, without a doubt, a vampire novel. It also takes place in a small town best known for being Bram Stoker's birthplace. You know, the Dracula author. It is, in reality, the biggest tourist attraction in a town with little else to offer.

Unfortunately, all the Vampire rules you know from various movies do not really apply here. Something the people in the town learn when confronted with vampires. An ancient Irish vampire is awakened and all hell breaks loose.

Actually, much of the comedy does come from the characters learning that they have no idea what to do. They try all the classic “how to kill a vampire” myths, but it’s just not that easy.

Great casting all around

The cast of Boys from County Hell is really spot-on in all aspects. We have Jack Rowan as the main protagonist, Eugene Moffat, who tries to do the right thing but tends to miss his mark a bit. Playing his dad, Francie Moffat, we have Nigel O’Neill (Game of Thrones) who delivers a stellar performance as well.

He has some great one-liners and continues to surprise. I will say that I am very happy that subtitles were available since I’m not very strong in Irish slang and expressions. Sure, you can guess most of it, but definitely not everything.

Also in the cast is the brilliant Louisa Harland (Derry Girls) and Fra Fee, who will be in the upcoming Marvel series Hawkeye. Finally, I have to mention John Lynch, who you might know from The Fall or The Terror series. Also, we recently saw him in the HBO series The Head and the Shudder movie The Banishing.

Watch Boys from County Hell on Shudder

Chris Baugh is the writer and director of Boys from County Hell. It’s based on a story he came up with along with Breandan Mullin which was made into a short film back in 2013. They also co-wrote the crime action drama Bad Day for the Cut (2017) which was also directed by Chris Baugh.

From the short film to the 2017 feature film and now this Shudder addition, all productions have rather impressive IMDb user ratings. If the other movies are anywhere near the level of this one, then I can certainly see why.

If you enjoy character-driven horror movies with solid timing when it comes to both scares and laughs, then do check out Boys from County Hell on Shudder. Especially if you’re also a fan of vampire movies. This one has quite a lot going for it!

Boys from County Hell is out on Shudder on April 22, 2021.

16


Kur, Philly rapper, has signed a new contract with Jay-Roc Z's Nation and Meek Mill's Dream Chasers labels.

The rapper revealed the news on Instagram, as well as revealing that Republic Records is involved. In the caption, he wrote, "Today I Turned 27, And Signed A Deal W/ @republicrecords @rocnation & @dreamchasers." “I Really Appreciate Everyone Who Helped Us Close This Deal.”

Kur has worked with artists such as PnB Rock, Mozzy and Meek Mill himself in the past. He previously had a deal with eOne and has released a bunch of street projects, including the latest one called It Shouldn’t Be Like This which you can stream here.

Back in 2019, Jay-Z and Meek Mill joined forces to bring Meek’s Dream Chasers label into the Roc Nation scheme of things. Meek was announced as the head of the label and has been building staff to sign and develop artists.

“Everything he has done leading up to this point shows he is ready to [lead] the next generation. We look at the big picture — this is way beyond signing artists and having hot record,” Jay had said at the time.
17


Travis Scott, Post Malone & ASAP Rocky to Headline Rolling Loud Miami 2021 Festival.

The full lineup for Rolling Loud Miami 2021, which takes place July 23rd-25th at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami Gardens, FL, has been revealed.

Travis Scott, Post Malone, and A$AP Rocky will headline the festival, which was originally scheduled for 2020 but was postponed due to the Covid-19 pandemic. With the exception of a few names, much of the original 2020 lineup has remained intact.

Lil Baby, 21 Savage, DaBaby, Young Thug, Megan Thee Stallion, Lil Uzi Vert, Playboi Carti, Roddy Ricch, Rod Wave, Lil Tjay, Pooh Shiesty, Polo G, Ski Mask The Slump God, City Girls, and Coi Leray are some of the other acts along with buzzworthy names like $NOT, Toosii, 42 Dugg, Blxst, Sheff G, Sleepy Hallow, Rubi Rose, Hotboii, and Bfb Da Packman.

And there’s more: Rick Ross, Gucci Mane, T-Pain, Curren$y, Fetty Wap, and Wale. Take a look at the full lineup below.


For the 2021 edition, Rolling Loud will honor all passes for fans who held onto their 2020 tickets, and will grant refunds to ticket-holders who are no longer able to attend. Limited tickets for the 2021 festival will be available for sale at 12 PM ET on April 23rd on this link.
18
University Board / Six Die As Cult Groups Clash in Ekiti (Graphics Photo)
« Last post by Miss Ifeoluwa on April 19, 2021, 06:57:01 PM »
1523-0

*EKITI STATE POLICE COMMAND*
                        18/04/2021
*PRESS STATEMENT:*
 _Six Die As Cult Groups Clash in Ekiti_

Yesterday being 18/04/2021 at about 0530hrs, a distress call was received by Ilupeju-Ikere Divisional Police Headquarters that two rival cult groups were on rampage in Ikere with different dangerous weapons.

2. The Divisional Police Officer(DPO) of Ilupeju Divisional, upon receipt of the information, mobilized to the scene where it was discovered that six(6) suspected members of the two confraternities were gruesomely macheted to death.

3. The corpses of the six victims were immediately recovered and deposited in the mortuary while ten(10) suspects have been arrested so far in connection to the incident.

4. In addition to the Operatives earlier deployed, the Ekiti State Commissioner of Police, *CP TUNDE MOBAYO,* has ordered the deployment of additional Patrol vehicles comprising the RRS, Safer Highway Team, S.I.B and the Anti-cultism Unit to Ikere axis in order to activate an aggressive patrol and ensure that peace is fully maintained and no further breakdown of laws and order.

1524-1

5. The Commissioner, while confirming that absolute has been brought to the area with the presence of adequate Police Operatives including the Military and other Security Agencies, calls on everyone to be calm and go about their lawful businesses as the Command shall ensure that all the suspects involved are arrested and brought to book.

 The Police Boss also appeal to members of the public to volunteer information that could lead to the arrest of the fleeing suspects by contacting the nearest Police Station or call 08062335577

ASP ABUTU SUNDAY
PPRO
*FOR:* COMMISSIONER OF POLICE
EKITI STATE COMMAND
19
University Board / Six dead as rival cult groups clash in Ekiti
« Last post by Yakub Oloyede on April 19, 2021, 06:53:06 PM »


Six individuals have been confirmed dead as rival cult groups clashed in Ikere Ekiti, Ikere Local Government Area of Ekiti state.

ASP Sunday Abutu, the states Police Public Relations Officer, who confirmed the incident to newsmen said the clash occurred on Saturday night and at the early hours of Sunday.

According to him, ten suspects have been arrested in connection to the crime.

“I can confirm to you that 10 suspects have been arrested in connection with the bloody cult clash which was caused by rivalry and show of strength.

“Six persons lost their lives in the clash, and that their corpses have been deposited in the morgue.

“The combined forces of the men of the Nigeria Police Force, Nigerian Army, Amotekun Corps and the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps have begun serious operations at the area.

“Also, those arrested are in our custody and by the time we conclude our investigations, they will be charged to court accordingly,” he said.
20
SpyLoaded News / Three INEC Staff Dead, Others Injured In Road Accident
« Last post by Miss Ifeoluwa on April 19, 2021, 05:36:10 PM »


A tragic accident has claimed the lives of three staff of the Independent National Electoral Commission and five others badly injured.

The Commission disclosed this in a statement signed by the National Commissioner and Chairman, Information and Voter Education Committee, Festus Okoye Esq, on Monday, April 19, 2021.

The statement said the staff got involved in the accident while travelling from some local government areas to Maiduguri in Borno State for special training ahead of the conversion of Voting Points into Polling Units.

According to the statement, “On Sunday 18th April 2021, the Resident Electoral Commissioner (REC) for the State, Mohammed Magaji Ibrahim, informed the Commission that an Electoral Officer (EO) and some Assistant Electoral Officers (AEOS) travelling from some Local Government Areas to Maiduguri for a special training ahead of the conversion of Voting Points into Polling Units were involved in the accident.

“Unfortunately, three staff: Adamu Mohammed (EO, Biu LGA), Abubakar Hamma Joda and Suleiman Umar (AEOS, Damboa LGA) lost their lives while five others sustained injuries. The deceased staff, who were indigenes of Adamawa State, will be buried today, Monday 19th April 2021, in Yola.

The Supervising National Commissioner for Borno, Adamawa and Taraba States, AVM Ahmed Tijjani Mu’azu (rtd), will represent the Commission at their funeral while the injured staff members are receiving treatment in a Specialist Hospital in Maiduguri.

“It will be recalled that last week, the Commission commenced nationwide train-the-trainers workshop in Abuja involving Heads of Operations Departments drawn from all the States of the Federation and the Federal Capital Territory (FCT).

The training is to be cascaded to state level nationwide ahead of the fieldwork for the physical conversion of the VPS to PUs. The aim is to conclude the exercise ahead of the resumption of the Continuous Voter Registration (CVR) on 28th June 2021.

“The three staff died in the course of national assignment. While praying for the repose of their souls, the Commission extends its condolence to their families and wishes the injured staff speedy recovery.”

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